The Grinch is back

 Who is the cat that spoils Christmas?

 The  Christmas “CAT GRINCH”!

WARNING:

  It might be looking at you now if you are getting the                                                                                                                                                                    feeling of being watched.

Riddles

SINGLE MEN
Riddle:
Four men were in a boat on a lake.
The boat turns over, and all four men sink to the bottom of the lake,
yet not a single man got wet!
Why?
Clue:
Don’t think too much.
Answer:
They were all married not single.

THE SAME TEA
Riddle:

A woman was horrified to find a fly in her tea.
The waiter took her cup and went into the kitchen and returned with a fresh cup of tea.
She shouted, “You brought back the same tea!”.
How did she know?
Clue:
Sugar
Answer:
She had put sugar in it before and when she tasted it was already sweet.

MOUTH THAT NEVER TALKS
Riddle:
What can run but never walks.
has a mouth but never talks.
has s head but never weeps.
has a bed but never sleeps.
Clue:
Water
Answer:
A river

MADE UP YOUR MIND
Riddle:
Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows not.
And whoever knows it wants it not.
Clue:
Don’t think too much
Answer:
Counterfeit money

BLONDE JOKE!

Drivers Licence

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Animal Jokes! HA! HA! HA!

VAMPIRE BAT

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.

Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.

He told them to go away and let him get some sleep but they persisted until finally he gave in.
“OK, follow me” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.

Down through the valley they went, across a river and into a forest full of trees.

Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.

“Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.“Yes, Yes, Yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.”Good” said the bat, “Because I sure as hell didn’t!”

Question and answer animal jokes!

Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!

Q: Why did the chicken scientist cross the road?
A: To invent the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To corrupt the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken IRS representative cross the road?
A: To bankrupt the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.

Q: Why did chicken Dr. Kevorkian cross the road?
A: To help the patient find the other side.

Q: Why did chicken Jim Morrison cross the road?
A: To break on through to the other side.

Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it’s too far to walk.

I think that I’m a chicken

Psychiatrist: What’s your problem?

Patient: I think I’m a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!